While the 80s and 90s had those movies where the hero and heroines ‘bumped’ into each other and immediately sang around trees in Switzerland/Ooty, the new wave of Tam Cinema, bless its heart, makes it as realistic as possible. (chortle!)
Why do we fall in love: (oh, boy!)
1) The adrenaline rush when your eyes meet. (Love makes you squint? A squint gives a rush?)
The flutter in your stomach that is not a result of road-side food.
2) Looking directly into someone's eyes and holding their gaze. (I saw Suresh Gopi do that with Ratheesh in ‘Commissioner’. He followed that moment up with, “Ppa, pulle!”)
I remember this happening at a funeral once but just for that rush, I'd gladly kill anyone in my family!
3) No matter what you're doing or who you're with, being acutely aware of where the other person is in your periphery.
Try to imagine it in a romantic set up...a la in the middle of a crowded cafeteria and not stalking someone in the middle of the night - not that I have ever done that! (Try driving with a squint when all oncoming vehicles are on high beam.)
4) Viewing the most banal life events through fresh eyes. (All that squinting can wear them out.)
Suddenly, a boring afternoon at some distant cousin's wedding is more glam coz you imagine his/her reaction to your uncle's inappropriate jokes.
5) The revitalisation of your own life.
The beach has never looked more beautiful than when I was feverishly feeling up the love of my life! (As the ashes of the deceased were being immersed. Feel free to judge her, dear reader. Yes, Lak, I’m talking to you.)
6) How beautiful you feel though you haven’t waxed your leg in a month or bothered to wear deo on a hot summer day.
Ditto from 5.
7) The excitement at the prospect of sharing your day with that person.
Many a Doctor's office waiting room has been the recipient of my girly giggles on account of some lame insight transformed into comedy gold through hormones. (And long-suffering friends are duly cudgeled with the comedy gold.)
8) Wondering what your future (the second date) would be together and feeling pleasantly nervous about the uncertainty of it all. (Her friends are just nervous. About the looming iceberg.)
9) Gaining self confidence.
Suddenly the corny lines are gems of self affirmation and nothing is impossible indeed.
Fret not, readers! I haven’t transformed from self-involved bitch (Yes, this post was not about her at all!). "Pada Pada" from Vennila Kabadikuzhu reminded me of what it is to fall in love.
While I waxed poetic about Vishnu Vishal being The One, Fao San and Bing unhelpfully reminded me how many times a day I say that about my potential conquests and how it translates to less than a one-night stand! Cynics! (Bite me.)
Monday, June 22, 2009
Monday, June 1, 2009
The Magnificent Seven
Read somewhere each woman must have a ring of 7 friends to keep her sane.
1 - The Quirk
2 - The Childhood Friend
3 - The New One
4 - The Office Friend
5 - The Couple
6 -
7 -
Says something about the article (or Sammeh's ADHD) that I can’t remember the last 2 categories!
Without further ado, those on their way to the sanatorium:
The Quirk
Undoubtedly, the slot is filled by Bing (no arguments. Just quiet acquiescence). Now a decade-long friend, I have fond memories of running in college with her close behind me screaming, "TOUCH THE OTHER ONE!" - twas my favourite hobby/workout to touch one earring and not touch the other or touch one shoulder and not the other and so on for every part of the body that has a double (some of those parts have quads now).
The logic? It’s symmetry that’s the culprit. Both have to be touched, you see, or “the other one will feel bad."
The Childhood Friend
H. Who else. She is the better half (indeed). While I wake up from a nightmare and try to soothe myself back to sleep at 2 am, an unnatural noise fills the room – ‘tis H laughing in her sleep. If that sounds sweet and harmless to you, you gotta get your head examined. There's nothing freakier than that!
Having lived with us for countless years and charmed everyone in the family, H and I have a weird psychic connection that has not waned despite oceans separating us.
The New One
K may have bought my affections by buying me many presents for my birthday but she sealed her place in my life with one highly inappropriate and offensive line.
I was contemplating whether to do this German boy who was visiting Chennai for a day. K's idea of a pick-up line - "Let me show you MY concentration camp" (love germinates in Fao San’s heart for K).
You tell me, can anyone top that?
The Office Friend
From bitching about each other to each other to finishing each others jokes, who else but Fao San is worthy of this title?! (*inhales deeply and smiles proudly*)
We take road trips together. We know everyone in each others lives. We know everything about each other's lives. We barf when people wanna talk about their feelings! (Chuh! Feelings! Like there are any feelings - other than ours - worth considering.)
We now have a common blog! (And an adoring, thronging fan base. Invisible at this point, but we know it is present!)
The height of our achievement - breaking up with a fling of mine who got clingy over the phone. The best part. We did it together. *sniff* Good times! (One of our finer moments. But that man…the ingrate…didn’t thank us once for breaking him into the relationship cycle!)
And to think she was in another team when I joined work! (But Sam san, the visionary jumped ships. It was the beginning of a great friendship.)
The Couple
3 couples tie for this slot.
1) Mall Wed Couple - While he is a male version of me (self-involved, dysfunctional, likes girls), she is the one who counsels us both to not make fun of people who are crying coz we made ‘em cry.
2) Constant Drama Couple - These insane bitches come to me for relationship advice every week. (No way! Wonder if this couple exists only in Sam san’s head.)
It goes the same way either in person or over phone
She: Sam, this time its different.
Me (bored): Uh huh. Do whatever makes you happy.
She: Are you listening? I am leaving him.
Me: You think I should do this 19-year old to feel young again?
He (addresses me): Why don’t you talk some sense into her? (Ok, they exist only in Sam san’s head)
Me: Me? Are you that desperate? (So self aware, even in her make-believe world)
She: Don’t inolve her in this. She’s my friend.
He: Don’t yell at me.
He and she yell a lot, fight about inconsequential things, kiss and make up all in front of me.
3) Grumpy Bitch and Overly Sensitive Metrosexual - They're both married to women but the yin yang of it all is so darned entertaining.
GB (to me): So let me get this straight, you have cut one more person out of your life? Lovely! And you wonder if you'll die alone.
Me: Nice man. Thanks. Am so glad I chose you to share my emotional trauma with.
GB: You're an idiot. What can I do? (mmpphhh!)
OSM: Sammy! You gotta stop pushing people away. It’s the same thing you do to me (Cry me a river, brother!). Stop being scared to be vulnerable.
Me: *choking on my drink*
GB: She is doing it coz she's a bitch. Oh, you're both talking again are you?
Me *sotto voice*: For now.
OSM: We've patched everything. We're fine as long as she doesn’t turn into Diva Bitch again. (Give her five minutes.)
Me and OSM bicker and yell and use big words and I storm out and not speak to him for 7 months. Again. (She clocked under five!)
GB continues drinking.
Other Notables
1) The Only Ex I Speak To - Kindred spirits, we're deeply shallow. Anytime I'm blue, he cheers me up by pretending to still want me. I tease him and don’t do anything about it. It works.
2) Theater Friend - He declaims every statement but he's the only sane one through all the creative tantrums. Long train journeys are that much more enjoyable coz he can turn anything to sound pornographic!
There are many, many more but I realised I crossed 7! Aha! Take that you self-help drivel writing bitch who only thought it fit to fill 7 categories! I win!
Dear Readers,
Please don’t point out the number of times the word, ‘bitch’ has appeared in this post.
Readers...you exist only in my head, eh?
1 - The Quirk
2 - The Childhood Friend
3 - The New One
4 - The Office Friend
5 - The Couple
6 -
7 -
Says something about the article (or Sammeh's ADHD) that I can’t remember the last 2 categories!
Without further ado, those on their way to the sanatorium:
The Quirk
Undoubtedly, the slot is filled by Bing (no arguments. Just quiet acquiescence). Now a decade-long friend, I have fond memories of running in college with her close behind me screaming, "TOUCH THE OTHER ONE!" - twas my favourite hobby/workout to touch one earring and not touch the other or touch one shoulder and not the other and so on for every part of the body that has a double (some of those parts have quads now).
The logic? It’s symmetry that’s the culprit. Both have to be touched, you see, or “the other one will feel bad."
The Childhood Friend
H. Who else. She is the better half (indeed). While I wake up from a nightmare and try to soothe myself back to sleep at 2 am, an unnatural noise fills the room – ‘tis H laughing in her sleep. If that sounds sweet and harmless to you, you gotta get your head examined. There's nothing freakier than that!
Having lived with us for countless years and charmed everyone in the family, H and I have a weird psychic connection that has not waned despite oceans separating us.
The New One
K may have bought my affections by buying me many presents for my birthday but she sealed her place in my life with one highly inappropriate and offensive line.
I was contemplating whether to do this German boy who was visiting Chennai for a day. K's idea of a pick-up line - "Let me show you MY concentration camp" (love germinates in Fao San’s heart for K).
You tell me, can anyone top that?
The Office Friend
From bitching about each other to each other to finishing each others jokes, who else but Fao San is worthy of this title?! (*inhales deeply and smiles proudly*)
We take road trips together. We know everyone in each others lives. We know everything about each other's lives. We barf when people wanna talk about their feelings! (Chuh! Feelings! Like there are any feelings - other than ours - worth considering.)
We now have a common blog! (And an adoring, thronging fan base. Invisible at this point, but we know it is present!)
The height of our achievement - breaking up with a fling of mine who got clingy over the phone. The best part. We did it together. *sniff* Good times! (One of our finer moments. But that man…the ingrate…didn’t thank us once for breaking him into the relationship cycle!)
And to think she was in another team when I joined work! (But Sam san, the visionary jumped ships. It was the beginning of a great friendship.)
The Couple
3 couples tie for this slot.
1) Mall Wed Couple - While he is a male version of me (self-involved, dysfunctional, likes girls), she is the one who counsels us both to not make fun of people who are crying coz we made ‘em cry.
2) Constant Drama Couple - These insane bitches come to me for relationship advice every week. (No way! Wonder if this couple exists only in Sam san’s head.)
It goes the same way either in person or over phone
She: Sam, this time its different.
Me (bored): Uh huh. Do whatever makes you happy.
She: Are you listening? I am leaving him.
Me: You think I should do this 19-year old to feel young again?
He (addresses me): Why don’t you talk some sense into her? (Ok, they exist only in Sam san’s head)
Me: Me? Are you that desperate? (So self aware, even in her make-believe world)
She: Don’t inolve her in this. She’s my friend.
He: Don’t yell at me.
He and she yell a lot, fight about inconsequential things, kiss and make up all in front of me.
3) Grumpy Bitch and Overly Sensitive Metrosexual - They're both married to women but the yin yang of it all is so darned entertaining.
GB (to me): So let me get this straight, you have cut one more person out of your life? Lovely! And you wonder if you'll die alone.
Me: Nice man. Thanks. Am so glad I chose you to share my emotional trauma with.
GB: You're an idiot. What can I do? (mmpphhh!)
OSM: Sammy! You gotta stop pushing people away. It’s the same thing you do to me (Cry me a river, brother!). Stop being scared to be vulnerable.
Me: *choking on my drink*
GB: She is doing it coz she's a bitch. Oh, you're both talking again are you?
Me *sotto voice*: For now.
OSM: We've patched everything. We're fine as long as she doesn’t turn into Diva Bitch again. (Give her five minutes.)
Me and OSM bicker and yell and use big words and I storm out and not speak to him for 7 months. Again. (She clocked under five!)
GB continues drinking.
Other Notables
1) The Only Ex I Speak To - Kindred spirits, we're deeply shallow. Anytime I'm blue, he cheers me up by pretending to still want me. I tease him and don’t do anything about it. It works.
2) Theater Friend - He declaims every statement but he's the only sane one through all the creative tantrums. Long train journeys are that much more enjoyable coz he can turn anything to sound pornographic!
There are many, many more but I realised I crossed 7! Aha! Take that you self-help drivel writing bitch who only thought it fit to fill 7 categories! I win!
Dear Readers,
Please don’t point out the number of times the word, ‘bitch’ has appeared in this post.
Readers...you exist only in my head, eh?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
