A Few Things that are Not Fun

Spent a long day prop shopping and had a chance to contemplate the deepness of my self-involvement. Here are a few fun things that aren't fun when it doesnt wholly involve you.

Yawn!

1) Shopping - Take the bestest money and combine it with a perfectly gloomy day but when its for someone else, snooze!

2) Photo Albums - I dont know how others do it but if I aint in the pics, dont bother showing me! I mean, seriously?

3) Spa Days - If someone else is getting a massage and you're reading Cosmo's '57 ways to get him to open up about his ex' in the waiting area - Next!

4) Wedding - If you ain't the bride or the groom. Boring!

5) Holidays - Marvellous self-indulgent days ahead but when you pull the weight of an entire team and stay up reading fun things to do in Cambodia late into the night - next please!

6) Listening - Dont get me wrong. I've lent my bony shouler to many a teary break up but if it involves listening about your latest work crisis - yawn!

7) Production - Shopping, scheduling, and decorating set and stage for a show you're never going to be onstage for - that's just cruelty!

8) Cooking Fat Free - I fail to see the reason to put double of my effort in making a low-fat muffin taste good when the recipient cant get off his ass to work out more! C'mon!

9) Watching TV - When you're stuck watching Idea Star Singer because you have nothing better to do and you promised mum the tv is hers this evening. Pain!

10) Selling Tickets - After the first 10 mins, the sturdiest of friendships can be tested when you're swatting mosquitoes and miss the first 30 mins of a decent play. Groan!

11) House Hunting - Who cares which side the living room faces or how small the bedroom is if you're not the one sleeping in it? Sigh!

12) Talking - Normally I'm a motor mouth but it becomes painful when you're relaying instructions. Lost in translation!

Got any more?

Happy Birthday to Me

As I grow older but certainly not wiser, here are a few things I would like to have in my life:

My Wish List (in no particular order): I wish

1) people who owe me money would actually pay me

2) to be able to go a day without excercising and not feeling guilty about it

3) foreign tourist visa processes were not so daunting

4) to have meaningful work which also paid well

5) friends in committed relationships wouldnt bitch about their other halves to me and call me smart for being single (no, its not a compliment and yes, its a conscious choice!)

6) I could watch Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart everyday.

7) people would not obsess over the pink jatti and Valentine Day card protest and call it an upper strata problem (even if it is an upper strata problem, on behalf of upper strata, I have a right for my issues to be heard)

8) more people would vote and not just critique people who dared to make a difference (kudos to Mash and Rochu for doing something other than drink at Zara's and tut tut about it! Read http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Chennai/Greeting_cards_to_fight_Rama_Sene/articleshow/4103108.cms)

9) Hamsa were here - she'd know exactly what to do on my birthday

10) there was a decent bungee jumping place around

11) I had money for my tattoo

12) filial peace - aunties and uncles, I have no clue what I'm doing with my life. Asking me a million times every phone call aint gonna change it.

while I'm wishing for peace...

13) the Tamil Government would not interfere in the Sri Lankan situation. Is a Tamil life more important than an African life? While condemning terrorism, why not condemn the civil wars in Africa and Israel striking Palestine for 6 days in a row? They're our brothers and deserve our respect too!

And we're back to banal wishes!

14) Vijay would have more energy in his movies. What happened babydoll? Why so glum these days?

15) guys would stop mind fucking women - if you want to boink but dont want to have any accountability or responsibility for it, have the balls to declare "I'm a manipulative satyr!" we just may respect your honesty!

16) I owned The Hobbit - cuz I haven't read it and Fao San has threatened to disown me if I dont get to it!

17) I had a Chennai toy boy (does that one even need to be explained?)

18) I could just zip over to Aus. I need their national cheer to bolster my spirits

19) we had krispy kreme in Chennai

20) someone other than Shaji taught Kalari in Bessie

21) there were better movies playing in the theater - Villu or Abhiyum Naanum? I opt for staying at home thank you!

22) more ballet shows would happen in Chennai - there was one from Russia and I was in Delhi.

23) people would know an English Lit student doesnt mean an instant dictionary - dont embarass me coz I dont know the damn words ok!

24) people could understand that just cuz I'm happy doesn't mean its easy.

25) Jeff Buckley and Heath Ledger were alive - such talent should not have gone so soon

26) my Internet connection would work so I wouldnt be utterly bored to write such a self-involved wish list

I saved my last two wishes for you Fao San

27) Fao San a speedy return. we miss you and want you to spice up our posts (that'd be me and my alter ego!)

28) Fao San a better end to this year - am sending all my good thoughts your way!

And so the countdown begins - 8 days to go!

You may Kiss the Bride

3 weddings of 3 close friends in 3 consecutive months.

Guess weddings come in threes too.

My take on why people get married:

1) Coz after 21 its lame to blame your parents for anything you dont actually wanna do but are too scared to admit - "My wife/husband didnt let me" is a better option.

2) You always have someone to go halfsies on gifts.

3) You can finally do lame ass things and blame someone else - quiz nights in, drinking and dancing on tables out!

4) You can let yourself go! This one's for the starving and "dieting" Women

5) You never have to shower, shave or use deo! This one's for men!

6) State and Temple approved license to boink.

7) So someone else can do the polite convo when your mum or dad calls.

8) Someone to pick the tab when you quit your job and have a quarter/mid-life crisis.

9) She lets you video her.

10) He lets you paint his toe nails.

11) Coz using your "friend with benefits" as binami to buy property can bite you in the ass.

12) Someone to drive you to hosp in the middle of the night when you get kidney stones for the 15th time!

I cant think of anymore reasons. I wonder why!